Joke Of The Day

A man walks into a healthful restaurant after a day at the office, sits down and orders a nice big dish of brown rice and stir-fry veggies.

He grabs a handful of peanuts from the bowl on the counter by the cash register while he's waiting for his order, and as he starts to chew he hears a voice say, "That's a beautiful tie, is that silk? Very NICE choice!"

Wondering who would make such a strange comment, he looks around and doesn't see anyone near him who could've been speaking to him. With a shrug, he pops a few more peanuts into his mouth.

Next he hears a voice, "Those shoes are stylin', my man. Are they Italian leather? They look GRRREAT!"

He whirls around to again but sees no one near him. He glances nervously around and then at his shoes, which he tucks self-consciously under the stool.

A little weirded out, he grabs another handful of peanuts.

This time the voice continues with, "That suit looks FANTASTIC! Is it an Armani? Very nice!"

He immediately calls the waiter over and says, "Look. I keep hearing these voices telling me how great my tie, my shoes, and my suit look -- What's up with that? Am I GOING CRAZY??"

"Oh," the waiter nonchalantly replies, "those are just the peanuts."

"The PEANUTS?!?" the astonished man asks, staring at the bowl beside him.

"Yes," replies the waiter, "they're complimentary!!"


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Bonus Joke:


A Yankee is traveling in the South and stops at a diner for breakfast. He orders bacon and eggs. The waitress tells him she's sorry, but she can't serve him bacon and eggs that day.

He replies, "Oh, you must be out of eggs."

"Oh, no," she answers, "we have plenty of eggs."

"Oh, then you must be out of bacon," he comments.

"No," she replies, "we have plenty of bacon...we are out of grits!"

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